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Apples really do NOT fall far from trees

If I did not have  a camera in my classroom, I might imagine that I had the following conversation with a PARENT on Friday.

Parent:  “What is seems to be his issue?”

Me:  “As you can see, he can not add, subtract, multiply or divide with or without a calculator.” (this is a 9th grade student)  He needs help with common math skills.  I think if we (interrupted)

Parent:  “When is he ever going to need this?”  (she looks mad)

Me:  “Um, everyday I think.  This is not an algebra skill or a physical science skill.  You use these in everyday life.”

Parent: “I have a LOT of pull, who do I have to complain to about this common core?” ( i guess she heard the words common math skills)

Me:  “mam, this is just 3rd grade math.  Your child is in the four year college prep program.  I imagine this is beneath the common core.”

Parent “WHO do I have to complain to?”

Me: “Well, I guess first the governor…”
Parent: “HE will not be re-elected.  I have a LOT of stroke.  We will see to this.”

Me: “Well, it is his second term.  He is not running for governor. So, I do not see…”
Parent: “Well, he won’t be re-elected.”  (term limits anyone?)

Me:  “Then I guess you could complain to the Gates foundation and President Obama.”
Parent:  “We will be protesting.  He will not be re-elected either.”

Me: “Ma’am.  He is a two term president.  He is not running. ”

Parent “it will be his last.  We will see to that.”

I just let this one go.  Apples and trees

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“We adopted the spawn of satan”

Maggie (the Boston Terrier) has now destroyed another Bible.  This time an older Amplified Holy Bible, but still.  My daughter was worried after the second one.  So she told her dad.  Her dad informed her that the dog would be taking a “holy crap.”

I arrived home hours later and found the explosion behind a chair.  Holy Crap!

My daughter (looking downright worried) asked me if I thought the explosion was due to it being a bible.  I informed her that I thought it was the glue that did not agree with the dog’s tummy…not the word of God.   I said yes it was a big ole mess, but the glue was to blame.   Without a hint of a smile, sounding worried she said “But mom, it was Amplified.”

Yes, it was.

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the Legend of Red Paw

Years ago my daughter owned the most cantankerous Boston Terrier ever born.  Lainie-Bug was the apple of her eye.  The dog could do no wrong.  I came in from school one day and thought there had been a massacre in my home.

There was red fluid in the dog beg, on the couch, the floor.  I went into full crime buster mode looking for splatters.   Then we all noticed that the Boston had one red paw.  She stood there sheepishly eyeing me.  I asked “What did you do?”  Obviously she made no reply.  Then I found a weapon…a red ink pen.  The legend of Red Paw was born.  Anytime something went sideways we searched the dog.

I was reminded of this yesterday.  The newest member of our household (also a Boston) stuck her nose in the green paint I was working with.  I yelled at my daughter to keep “Kermit the Dog” up front and let me work.  But no, this was not to be.  I had a dog helping me ever step.  That animal wiggled between me and the can.  She wiggled between me and the wall.  In short, where ever I needed space there was a dog.

Then I noticed this morning that the Dog Has A Green Butt.  The Legend of Green Butt is born.

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my First Day of School 2015

9 hours before the start of school, I discovered my ex-ex-ex had been seeing his “friend” for the past year.  Backtrack.

Six years ago my ex told me had no place to go.  He had changed.  He wanted to come home.  Foolishly I allowed this thing.

I paid for everything for 6 years.  I took care of everything.  He had two strokes. I assured him I would care for him.

The mistake is thinking that because you have a heart the size of Texas that the other person does also.

I believe that this school year will be better because I am not dealing with my first (and only) husband.

This morning I missed him because I saw something on the news that I knew would stir him up.  I missed him so bad that I ran outside and THREW $400 worth of twenties over the fence.

This is not bitter, this is relief.   I am laughing.  BTW, I went and gathered up the money.  I may want to buy ME something.

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