a crap-tastic tale

Ms. W teaches Spanish on the opposite end of the campus from the science wing.  During one of her annual pregnancies she stormed into my room during my planning period “COME HERE NOW”

My mind jumped to the obvious (what did I do that I have forgotten?) and I started to stammer an excuse.

“No, you come here and look at this.” (by this point I was sure I had done something to this raging hormone. I could not remember what.  But I do a LOT of bad things)

So, we walked down the hall (slowly on my part) to see what had sent Ms. W into orbit.  “Look at that!”  So, I looked.  “What is that?”

I replied (relieved on my part. I did SOOO not do this.)  “It would appear to be a turd.  A bit of human feces.  A Lincoln Log as it were.”

She glared at me “Where did it come from?”

I calmly (remember the hormones) replied “Ok. It would appear that the human sitting in that desk had a sneaker.  It came hooping out.  When it was time to go (no, not that kind of go) he/she eased out of the room and the log fell out.”

She (eyes blazing) “I’m going to the office and pull the tape.  I am going to find the person that did that…”

Me: “Stop. Do you really want to know who that happened to?  Do you really?”
A few moments passed “No.  No. I don’t think I need to know”

After a few moments of contemplation we parted ways agreeing that sometimes kids do things that you just don’t need to know.


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