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And another thing

It is NEVER too early in Louisiana to explain the food chain. 90% of the things you see in Louisiana are trying to eat you..or poison you…or just make your day plain uncomfortable.
A brief aside, many people will see the Alligator hunters or Duck hunters on reality (unreality) TV and think they have a good bead on Louisiana. Not so. That reasoning would be like me thinking because I had seen ENews I know about LA. Or a human thinking that if you see some housewives you have a good idea about some other state.
Cue the music…the four year old and I are discussing cooking chicken. I maintain that chicken should be baked. The four year old (and her supple arteries) thinks chicken should be fried. I will compromise and fry hers. In a few minutes I see the thought cross her mind.
“I don’t want to pet a chicken at the zoo. Do we eat those chickens?”
I think and proceed carefully. “We eat chickens.”
The four year old “Do we eat baby chickens?”
“No, we eat chickens that are older.” I am sweating bullets now.
“Are chickens nice?”
“NO.” I am on safer ground here “They will peck you in a second. Chickens are mean. I grew up around chickens. Mean.” (which is why I will eat a chicken in a second. Survival of the fittest.) But then I mess up. “We eat eggs.”
“Don’t worry GaGa. Those are not the kind of eggs we eat.”
“Yes. We eat chicken eggs.” We cannot have her going to school thinking bunnies lay the eggs we eat.
“NO…Wait. How does the baby get in the egg?” (OH NO…panic, panic, panic)
“Well, four year old, you have to have a daddy chicken called a rooster.” At this point panic is so ingrained… “Um, ask your daddy. Yeah. Ask your daddy, he is a nurse practitioner. He will know.” (evil laughter bubbles up from the inside)

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