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Am I dying?

KE strutted into class today…all 5’4″, chest puffed out, hair spiky.  I looked at him over my glass and said “KE, may I suggest STRONGLY that you sit down.”  

“Oh, yea, right.”  He sat down.  The following is where it gets strange.

“Am I gonna Die?” (KE has tears in his eyes)

‘KE, you have a 100% chance of dying at some point.  That is my opinion as a scientist.”  I replied.  

“No, no…you don’t understand.  Will I die from Salmonella?”  KE cried out

“Boy, I am a scientist not a soothsayer.”  I should not have used this word.  

“A what-er?  I need to know if I am going to die from Salmonella.”   KE is frantic by this point.

“I am NOT a psychic  How would I know?”  I ask (Sometimes I don’t want to ask, but someone has to) 

“How much raw chicken would I have to eat to die from Salmonella?”  

(OK, this is different)  “I would not know how to quantify that for you.  Did you eat raw chicken?” nod, nod “Why did you eat raw chicken?”  

KE “I blame it on my mother.”

Me “She MADE you eat raw chicken?”

KE “No, she did not tell me how to cook the chicken.  I wanted wings and So…so…I put them in the oven.  But, I cheated and put them in on preheat.  Now, am I going to die?”

Me “Was the chicken hot?” nod,nod “Was it tender?” nod,nod “Was it white and NOT pink?”  nod, nod

KE “I only have 72 hours and you gotta hurry… am I going to die?”

Me “it has been over 48 hours?” nod, nod “Guess we will just have to wait.” 

I went back to reviewing the EOC, KE lives…

 

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