The Poo that saved my life

This summer a huge pile of dog s$!t saved my life. 

I babysat for my daughter and her husband while they attended a wedding.  Their two kids were wonderful.  Their huge English Bulldog was not.  He rolled over to my car hunched up near the front door and took a huge dump.  Great…now I know that when they return I will not remember the poo. 

Sure enough, five hours later, I step in the pile.  So, I sat on the front seat and cleaned my shoe with a napkin.  I am too tired to walk back to the house.  I am so mad that I throw the napkin in their yard (passive-aggressive much?) and decide to drive home.  I don’t want to smell the poo, so I roll crack the front windows.  This means I must also turn off the radio because I hate the cavitation effect. 

I made it about three miles when I noticed a smell (other than the poo).  It was so dark I really could not see anything.  I slowed, sloooweed, then started forward.  I really notice a smell of fuel and brakes.  I was the first person on the scene of a fatal accident.  Drunk driver was mad the accident had occurred.  My best estimate is that in the time that I wasted cleaning my shoe the accident was occurring.  I would have been in that exact spot but for a poo.

There is a lot more to the story.  But…when they say “S$!t happens”  I want to add “for a reason.”

As an aside, I went back the next day and kissed that big ole slobbery bulldog right in the mouth.


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